Please stow your hat in the overhead compartment

After a prolonged avoidance, I had no choice but to fly on an airplane. I'm not even going to touch having to remove my shoes or the liquids thing. What I'd like to discuss is perhaps the simplest thing of all- carry on luggage. They make it quite clear that every person is allowed one carry on to put in the overhead compartment and one to put under the seat in front of them. As simple as this seems, it was almost impossible for passengers to grasp this concept. On my outgoing flight, my space in the overhead compartment was taken by a man who carefully placed his hat NEXT to his bag. A fedora style hat, totally inappropriate for 21st century air travel, was perfectly centered in the overhead bin- giving it a wide berth. I informed the man that I was sitting next to him in the window seat. He politely stood up, but refused to acknowledge the fact that I was staring at his head gear in the bin, which should have cued him into moving it under the seat in front of him- which was obviously empty. Had he been just an annoying eccentric, I would have removed the hat and handed it to him myself, but the hat was part of a religious "outfit" and my asking him to move it would no doubt lead to racist accusations. I didn't want this conflict. I'm not racist. I just want to put my bag in the overhead compartment. The compartment I paid for and need. I stared at the hat, and he refused to acknowledge my staring at the hat, until the stewardess started yelling that we needed to sit down, the rest of the plane needed to board. Because I have no spine, I shoved both bags under the seat in front of me and spent the next 3 hours with my knees pushed into my chest while my neighbor had full use of his foot room and his hat was riding in the equivalent of hat first class.
The same thing happened on the return flight, only this time it was a man's laptop, and I had no problem handing him that back. He protested, but an obvious frequent flyer came to my aid and told the man to quit whining and to stow it (the laptop).
Ok people. The concept of "bag goes here, other bag goes here" is not difficult. I assume that the fact you arrived at the airport with the bags in the first place means that you are capable of the basic thought processes necessary to complete this task. There are no excuses here.